You have been gone for almost three weeks now and what I thought would happen is. For over 6 months you increasingly became distant, depressed, and treated our relationship as if it had less and less importance to you. I hung in there. I still am. Several times you have referred to still being my friend. Well, friends don't treat friends with the disregard I have experienced (not returning phone calls or even answering them, ignoring text or picture messages, not responding to emails) this is not a friendship you seem to want to put any energy or effort into and I have to accept that it is not my fault. When I share my feelings, I am told I am trying to make you feel guilty. Well, I am sorry you feel guilty but it is not me that is making you feel that way. You know what you are doing is wrong. You know your lack of communication is hurtful. You know that treating someone with such disregard and then saying you love them is about an oxymoron. Your guilt is not my issue and if you choose to distance your self. not longer communicate with me or the girls then that is your choice but it is something you will have to deal with on your own as actions have consequences, good or bad.

Do not say you don't understand how Aaron can be so absent in McKenna's life, maybe now you can explain it to me as you do it like he does.

Do not criticize Chris for making decisions without thinking of Lauren and the boys, recognize him as being selfish, or be disappointed in his lack of involvement in his families life. At least he calls daily to attempt a connection.

Steven used to tell me, "I did not mean it that way so you should not take it that way" when I tried to share my feelings with him. With you, I share and you hide, ignoring any additional communication. Sure, look the other way, don't respond to the text, don't try to make things better for you and us. Maybe one day, when you turn around it won't be there and you won't have to deal with my feelings anymore. But you will always have to deal with yours.

Do not tell me you are not disappearing. You can be angry when I say it feels like you are or have been for months now, but who are you really angry at? Me for saying it to you hurt because I believed you when you promised you would never disappear or you knowing you have broken that promise and really are but not sure how to stop yourself or even understanding why you are doing it.

What is all this for? Is it more self sabotage? More proof to only you that you are not worth good things, love, family, success but a failure. The only one that thinks you are is you. It is just time for me to stop allowing myself to keep hurting about it. This is not my issue, you are not mine to fix, you are someone I love, this is a relationship I hold dear but love should not hurt and I can not keep allowing myself to be hurt by your behavior.

Mistakes are truly mistakes if you did not learn anything from them. You have called your self a dumbass for things you did in the past before knowing me. Did you learn anything? Are you going to be a dumbass again?