Written 4/7/05

I have had so much projected onto me that I feel like a movie screen! :) There is a part of me that wants to send Aaron, My dad and David all of my emails and passwords and say - OK read. Read all the emails to each other,to family to anyone you want to read the to and from emails. I have nothing to hide. I am not Evilene. I have tried to be supportive. I am NOT MaryLeslie, I am NOT Sue or any of the people that abandoned Aaron, I am NOT my mom! I am NOT the typical B woman! My initials may be BW but I am NOT one! . . . and I try very hard to not be one and be understanding and fair. Actions are supposed to speak louder than words. I have not had any negative words. The words are rolling around between three negative men that have had hurtful experiences. I did not ask for this. I did not ask Aaron to leave, yes I told my Mom I asked him to leave but that was to protect David and Aaron. I am NOT looking for a reconciliation of our marriage right now, I would just like to be able to talk to him with out adding stress, anger, or additional hurt to either of us, him or me. Mind-boggling. What have I done that gives off this impression? I do believe that perception may not be reality but it is something you have to deal with.